Cringe to Confident: 3 Cringe Things That Built My International Stage Confidence

A few weeks ago, someone asked, “How are you so confident speaking in front of hundreds of people?”

The truth? I wasn’t. I used to stutter, talk too fast, and lose my train of thought. My hands shook before every stage, and sometimes the slides didn’t even load. Those early talks taught me that confidence doesn’t come naturally and that it’s built through preparation, practice, and persistence, and often, through the moments that make you cringe the most.

Since then, I’ve delivered 100+ talks worldwide, from the AnitaB.org Grace Hopper Celebration in Philadelphia to workshops with Google and Crisis UK, and learned that the most valuable lessons come from doing, reflecting, and growing.

Here are three lessons that took me from cringing backstage to standing confidently on global stages and how you can apply them to your own journey toward becoming a more confident speaker.

1. Acknowledge the Nerves and Use Them in Public Speaking

Let’s be honest, your first few talks or presentations will never be perfect and that’s completely fine. According to Harvard Business Review (2024), audiences respond better to authenticity than to over-rehearsed delivery. They remember how you made them feel, not whether you had the perfect slide transition.

Before going on stage, I no longer try to suppress the adrenaline, instead I reframe it and remind myself that this isn’t fear and that it’s energy I can direct toward connection. The same principle applies in networking or leadership. When you lean into the emotion, it shows that you care. And the next time you stumble or blank out, reframe it as practice, as every awkward moment on stage (or in a meeting) is just a rehearsal for growth.

Try naming what you’re feeling before going on stage, for example, say “I’m excited” instead of “I’m scared.” Take three deep breaths, smile, and imagine you’re talking to one friendly face in the audience. These small shifts turn nervous energy into connection and presence.

2. Say Yes Before You Feel Ready: Building Speaking Confidence

When I launched the LMF NETWORK (Like Minded Females), I had no idea it would grow into a global community of over 20,000 members across 24+ countries. Back then, I said “yes” to hosting small panels, running networking sessions, and speaking on topics I was still learning about.

What I learned is that when you speak from a place of humility and authenticity, you invite others to engage, share, and connect. In doing so, you turn a presentation into a conversation and every “yes” becomes a chance to learn, grow, and build visibility.

Confidence also comes from knowing your content deeply. Before every talk, I make sure I really understand the subject I’m speaking on. I think of myself as the teacher, not the expert, and invite interaction by asking questions like, “What did you learn?” or “What’s one takeaway that resonated with you?” Doing this turns the session into a shared learning experience rather than a lecture.

So, if you’ve been waiting for the “perfect” time to put yourself out there, that time is now.

🎥 Watch here: 11 ways to boost your confidence for career opportunities to learn more about how I built confidence step by step, from avoiding the camera to speaking on international stages.

3. Build Confidence Through Community and Networking

No one becomes confident alone. Behind every confident leader or speaker is a network of people who listen, cheer, and challenge them to grow. For me, that network started with LMF NETWORK (Like Minded Females) – a community I founded to help women and underrepresented talent grow their confidence, careers, and connections.

If you want to build confidence faster, start by surrounding yourself with people who see your potential, even when you don’t. Try:

Attending networking events and industry meet-ups
Joining virtual communities that align with your goals
Asking for feedback from peers or mentors
Connecting with people on LinkedIn who genuinely inspire you

After every event, I ask a peer or audience member for one piece of feedback, things like what landed and what didn’t. It’s uncomfortable at first, but it accelerates growth faster than any course ever could.

The right network will help you move from imposter syndrome to intentional growth. And the more you speak, the more you’ll realise that your voice, even when imperfect, has power and value.

The Cringe-to-Confident Mindset

Every cringe moment has taught me something. Forgetting lines early on taught me to improvise to the point I now go with the flow and no script. Facing tough questions taught me humility. And speaking to unfamiliar audiences taught me that leadership starts with listening. Because the more you experience those moments, the more they teach you to adapt, connect, and trust yourself a little more.

If you’re building your confidence in speaking or leadership, remember to:

Speak before you feel ready.
Laugh through the awkward moments.
Surround yourself with people who lift you higher.

Before you know it, those “cringe” memories become part of your success story — the ones that shape your growth, your voice, and your impact.

And who knows? The story you’re cringing about today might just be the one you tell on stage tomorrow.

💌 This newsletter was written by Sonya Barlow, award-winning entrepreneur, author, presenter, and founder of LMF Network. Work with Sonya for business consultancy, keynotes, and campaigns: hello@sonyabarlow.co.uk

Sonya Barlow is an award-winning entrepreneur, presenter, and author with over 100K followers. She hosts her self-titled YouTube show The Sonya Barlow Show, authored the business book Unprepared to Entrepreneur, and runs a business inclusion consultancy and networking app, the LMF Network. Connect via email 📩 - Hello@SonyaBarlow.Co.Uk