The Big Business Networking Question: Giving First or Taking Away?

Business networking has always been framed as a long game of opportunity, but here’s the real question: are you building relationships to give, or to take?

I've asked myself this countless times throughout my career. When I first started networking at events in London, I thought success meant collecting the most contacts, pitching myself, and getting that "big break." Networking felt like a game of Pokémon with business cards as the ultimate prize.

But after a few moments of chasing the cards and pocketing email addresses, I realised that asking for something felt a little beggy and flipped my own script. Turns out, the most powerful connections I've built came from offering something first: time, support, or even just genuine curiosity.

According to a study published in Harvard Business Review in 2022, a key insight is that while many of us think of our networks as people who can help us, we need to remember that those relationships are a give-and-take.

If business networking is central to career progression, then how we approach it, giving vs. taking, directly shapes our opportunities, our professional reputation, and our growth.

Giving vs. Taking in Business Networking

Let’s break it down. In every interaction, we’re doing one of two things:

Giving first: Offering help, sharing knowledge, or creating value for someone else without expecting something back immediately.
Taking first: Looking for what you can extract, either a contact, a referral, or a job opportunity, before offering anything in return.

In 2024, I spoke and exhibited at a number of conferences. You would not believe the amount of people who came up to me and without any context or conversation said “what job can you offer me” or “how can you help me land a job”. Blunt business is one I don’t mind, but in this case, as a potential employer or helper, what is your value add, your skillset and your name even? It was mindblogging but in hindsight, we aren’t taught to network so why would someone know the better set of rules if they haven’t been taught?

At the LMF NETWORK (Like Minded Females), we've always prioritised giving first through workshops, online content, CV reviews, and mentoring. In the start, most of what we did was for free especially during Covid, yeah I could’ve become a rich membership owner like the Albright and chief (missed opportunity) but my values were ones which wanted to help as the whole world felt like it was on fire. At the time, this wasn't seen as a "strategy," but years later, many of those same community members have become leading professionals who have brought us into new rooms, recommending us for panels, and becoming clients and collaborators, generating money, giving back and enabling us into rooms which we weren’t originally invited to.

The “givers” win in the long run. They build trust, credibility, and communities that eventually turn into referrals, collaborations, and new opportunities.

LMF Network Community Coworking Day 2025

3 Ways to Network as a Giver

If you’re rethinking your networking approach, here are three practical ways to shift from “taking” to “giving”:

Start with curiosity – Instead of jumping into your story, ask about theirs. Everyone remembers a good listener. At past tech events, I made it a point to ask everyone I met one thoughtful question. That simple approach is usually how one conversation turns into a long-term collaboration.
Offer something simple – Share an article, introduce them to someone relevant, or give constructive feedback. These little acts of kindness build trust. On LinkedIn, I often tag others in posts or share a link to something they might find useful in a DM. Those small gestures have come back to me tenfold.
Think long-term, not transactional – Networking isn’t all about quick wins, but more about professional growth, reputation, and creating opportunities over time. It’s also about being authentic and staying in touch. A perfect example? I met J.D. Durkin, a well-known TV anchor in the financial markets sector, at Web Summit in 2023. A simple follow-up message led to a tour of the NYSE and an interview with Peter Tuchman, the "Einstein of Wall Street." Peter himself followed up with me to book the interview for my show – this can be seen as a powerful lesson in the value of sustained connection.

🎥 Watch here: Success Secrets with Peter Tuchman, Einstein of Wall Street, most famous American Trader to see my interview with Peter and how I networked my way to get there.

Why This Matters for Career Growth

Business networking isn’t just a “soft skill," but one of the biggest drivers of professional growth. The key difference lies in your intention: are you aiming to build lasting relationships or just seeking short-term gains?

LinkedIn tells you that the key skill in 2025 is relationship building, but to build you have to start and to start you need to support. Networking is not knowing it all or taking from others, but building wealth through knowledge sharing and authentic relationships - at least in 2025 it is!

Giving doesn't mean you should overextend yourself or risk being taken advantage of. It means approaching every interaction with the mindset that you have something valuable to contribute, whether it's your perspective, your story, or your experience.

Think about your next 12 months, align your activities accordingly and enter rooms where there is a value exchange.

When you give first, you position yourself not just as a contact, but as a collaborator. And as the market becomes more competitive, collaborators are the ones who build careers, communities, and successful companies.

💬 So here’s my question for you: When’s the last time you networked by giving to another?

🎥 Watch here: BBC Host, TEDx Speaker, Author and Diversity Coach – Sonya Barlow to learn more about my journey from setting small income goals to traveling the world, hosting a BBC radio show, and building the LMF NETWORK (Like Minded Females).

📩 This newsletter was written by Sonya Barlow, entrepreneur, author and presenter. Work with Sonya Barlow on business strategy, keynotes and campaigns. Email: hello@sonyabarlow.co.uk

Sonya Barlow is an award-winning entrepreneur, presenter and author with over 100K followers. She hosts her self-titled YouTube show "The Sonya Barlow Show", authored the business book "Unprepared to Entrepreneur" and runs a business inclusion consultancy and networking app the "LMF Network". You can work with Sonya for campaigns, content and conversation. Connect via email 📩 - Hello@SonyaBarlow.Co.Uk.