Fail to Win: How to Flip a Career Failure Into a TED Talk

Have you ever had a career failure that left you questioning yourself? Where did the mismatch come from? Why didn’t your skills align? Do they not like you anymore? Any kind of failure hits hard, even for a moment, but what if, in the end, it's actually a new beginning?

In this newsletter, I will share how losing what I thought was my dream corporate role turned into one of the biggest wins of my life: landing a TED Talk. This story is about resilience, alignment, and why failure often comes before your biggest breakthroughs.

The Dream Job: Aligned or Nightmare?

After graduating, I did what any good degree holder does - try to climb the career ladder. I landed three promotions and job changes before securing what I thought was a dream consultancy gig. It had good pay, travel opportunities, and all the perks of a startup office.

Within a few months, it became clear that something wasn’t right. The work culture didn’t align with my values, and my way of thinking wasn’t what they hired for. As time went on, I started showing signs of my neurodivergence more openly. This wasn't because I had changed, but because the environment wasn't built for people like me.

Looking back, they didn't have the knowledge to adapt the working space, nor did they try to figure it out. Instead of trying to find a mutual ground, they chose to push me out. Rejection of any kind feels embarrassing and shocking. The whole thing took me by surprise, as did the anxiety that came after when I started looking for new opportunities.

Shifting the Embarrassment of Failure into a Sharing Opportunity

Eventually, I mentioned the experience to a few people, especially during our LMF NETWORK (Like Minded Females) career conversations. One of those conversations changed everything. A lady attending said, “Your story is powerful. You should share it on a TED stage.” What I didn’t know was that she was a TEDx event organiser.

At first, I laughed it off. I had lost my job and become nervous, so how could I possibly stand on a global platform and talk about resilience?

However, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. When do we hear people's failure stories, their messy middles, and the things that broke them before they built themselves back up? What was the worst that could happen? Nothing. I already felt like a loser. The best-case scenario? The exercise would give me a purpose, and the talk would help someone else who also felt lost after a rejection.

So, two months after losing my job, I stepped onto the red circle and delivered my first TED Talk: Failure Comes Before Resilience.

That 12-minute talk became a turning point. Internally, it gave me a purpose, allowed me to process my feelings in a healthy way, and helped me build my confidence back every time I practiced. Externally, it sparked global conversations and helped a community come together when things felt tough. That experience also inspired me to double down on creating inclusive spaces like the LMF NETWORK (Like Minded Females), so no one feels like they don’t belong at work - which built the foundations of my brand, upskilled over 100K people, and landed me speaking opportunities internationally.

The Lesson: Failure Is Just a Temporary Disruptor

Like my mama said and I quote in the talk - “Failure is just a temporary disruptor.”

At the time, losing my corporate job felt like the end. And maybe it was - the end of Sonya chasing jobs for money, the end of misaligning skills to roles that seemed cool and the end of climbing a corporate ladder but not throwing it back down? That failure turned out to be the beginning of a greater sense of self, business and brand. Failure doesn’t define us, but how we choose to handle the loss is what makes the person.

Here’s what I learned:

Failure is feedback. It shows you what’s not working so you can pivot.
Authenticity matters. If an environment forces you to hide who you are, it’s not the right environment.
Your story is your superpower. The thing you’re afraid to talk about might be the thing that inspires others.
Share with others. Open up, ask for help and share your story so others can support you too.
Embarrassment is temporary. In that moment you feel embarrassed but in the greater scheme of things, it’s a little moment in the rest of your life.
Know your skills and drivers. Choosing a career path is easier if you can align your natural skills and drivers to the role rather than trying to fit a mould or mask in the environment.

How to Turn Your Career Failure Into a Win

If you’re facing a similar setback, here are 3 practical steps to help you flip the script:

Talk about it – Share your experience with people you trust. You never know where those conversations might lead. If it’s possible, have an idea of how someone can help you - introduction, listening or resources are three examples.
Look for patterns – Was the failure due to misalignment, timing, or something else? Use that insight to make better decisions next time. Often, we find ourselves in the same loop until something forces us out, in this instance, it was being fired but in the future, what if you can prevent the cycle by understanding the signs?
Stay open to opportunities – Sometimes, the door you didn’t knock on is the one that opens first, so go through it and see which paths you come across. If I hadn’t worked in technology or started a brunch club or even written this first newsletter, a bunch of opportunities wouldn’t have opened up - so take the first step into the unknown.

Fail to Win: Every setback, rejection or failure is a stepping stone for what’s next. For more information, you can also read my past newsletter on How to Turn Your Superpower and Failures into Career Growth to learn more flipping the script to your advantage.

Failure Comes Before Resilience

That TED Talk was a cool way to enter the space of motivational talks, something I’d never imagined I'd be doing (remember, career ladder girl here). Today, I speak globally about resilience, inclusion, and the power of storytelling. And trust me, I still face challenges, but now I see them differently. So, those differences are what we practically share with the audience so you too can leave with something powerful, purposeful and actionable.

Every new challenge reminds me that setbacks are part of growth. The same skills I built during my lowest moment, like adaptability, self-belief, and persistence, are the ones that help me thrive today. If I had let that failure define me, I would have missed out on opportunities that truly align with my purpose.

So, this week’s question is: What was your biggest failure that turned into a win?

📩 This newsletter was written by Sonya Barlow, entrepreneur, author, and presenter. Work with Sonya Barlow on business strategy, keynotes, and campaigns. Email: hello@sonyabarlow.co.uk

Sonya Barlow is an award-winning entrepreneur, presenter, and author with over 100K followers. She hosts her self-titled YouTube show The Sonya Barlow Show, authored the business book Unprepared to Entrepreneur, and runs a business inclusion consultancy and networking app, the LMF Network. Connect via email 📩 - Hello@SonyaBarlow.Co.Uk